Self Help

Here’s another list for you, this time it’s stress management techniques that you may find useful.

1. Make stress your friend
Acknowledge that stress is good and make stress your friend! Based on the body’s natural “fight or flight” response that burst of energy will enhance your performance at the right moment. I’ve yet to see a top sportsman totally relaxed before a big competition. Use stress wisely to push yourself that little bit harder when it counts most.

2. Stress is contagious
What we mean by this is that negative people can be a huge stressor. Negativity breeds stress and some people know how to do nothing but complain. Now you can look at this in one of two ways. First, they see you as a positive, upbeat person and hope that you can bring them back “up”. If that’s not it, then they’re just a negative person and can’t feel better about themselves unless those around them are negative as well.

Don’t get caught up in their downing behavior. Recognize that these kinds of people have their own stress and then limit your contact with them. You can try to play stress doctor and teach them how to better manage their stress, but be aware that this may contribute more to your own stress, so tread lightly.

3. Copy good stress managers

When people around are losing their head, which keeps calm? What are they doing differently? What is their attitude? What language do they use? Are they trained and experienced?

Figure it out from afar or sit them down for a chat. Learn from the best stress managers and copy what they do.

4. Use heavy breathing.
You can trick your body into relaxing by using heavy breathing. Breathe in slowly for a count of 7 then breathe out for a count of 11. Repeat the 7-11 breathing until your heart rate slows down, your sweaty palms dry off and things start to feel more normal.

5. Stop stress thought trains
It is possible to tangle yourself up in a stress knot all by yourself. “If this happens, then that might happen and then we’re all up the creek!” Most of these things never happen, so why waste all that energy worrying needlessly?

Give stress thought-trains the red light and stop them in their tracks. Okay so it might go wrong – how likely is that and what can you do to prevent it?

6.Know your stress hot spots and trigger points
Presentations, interviews, meetings, giving difficult feedback, tight deadlines……. My heart rate is cranking up just writing these down!

Make your own list of stress trigger points or hot spots. Be specific. Is it only presentations to a certain audience that get you worked up? Does one project cause more stress than another? Did you drink too much coffee?
Knowing what causes your stress is powerful information, as you can take action to make it less stressful. Do you need to learn some new skills? Do you need extra resources? Do you need to switch to de-caffeinated coffee?

7. Eat, drink, sleep and be merry!
Lack of sleep, poor diet and no exercise wreaks havoc on our body and mind. Kind of obvious, but worth mentioning as it’s often ignored as a stress management technique. Listen to your mother and don’t burn the candle at both ends!
Avoid using artificial means to dealing with your stress. That means don’t automatically pour a glass of wine when you think you’re getting stressed out and don’t light up a cigarette. In actuality, alcohol, nicotine, caffeine, and drugs can make the problem worse. A better idea is to practice the relaxation techniques we’ve given you. Then, once you’re relaxed, you can have that glass of wine if you want.

8. Go outside and enjoy Mother Nature. A little sunshine and activity can have amazing ramifications on your stress level and will enhance your entire outlook towards life. Your improved attitude will have a positive effect on everyone in your family and/ or circle of friends; things which seem overwhelming will soon become trivial matters, causing you to wonder what the predicament was.

Not only will you be less stressed, you will be healthier, happier, and more energetic; ready to face whatever obstacles come your way.

9. Give yourself permission to be a ‘kid’ again. What did you enjoy when you were a child? Draw; paint; be creative. Play with Play- dough, dance, or read. Play music, allow yourself freedom to express yourself without worry that you’re not keeping with the image of who you are ’supposed’ to be. Just relax and enjoy yourself. We all have a little child in us and it’s a good idea to allow expression of the child within from time to time.

If I might say so, this suggestion is excellent and very therapeutic. I speak from experience. I can tell you that there is nothing more satisfying than buying a brand new box of 64 Crayons – the one with the sharpener in the box – and coloring away in a coloring book. My grandson loves it when I use this stress buster!

10. Don’t set unrealistic for goals for yourself. Many of us set ourselves up for defeat simply by setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. For example, if you are dieting, realize you cannot lose 40 pounds in one or two months.
Or maybe you are trying to reach a goal of obtaining a particular job position; whatever your goal is allow sufficient time to reach your goals and realize occasional setbacks may occur.

If you reach your goal without any delays, you will be even happier with yourself for arriving quicker than you planned, but don’t expect it. In fact don’t expect anything; expectations and reality are often two entirely different things.

11. Learn it is OK to say ‘no’ occasionally. Often, many of us feel we have to say ‘yes’ to everyone, every time we are asked for help and feel that we must respond in a positive fashion. But, remember, you cannot be all things to all people. You must first meet your own needs before you can truly give others what they need while at the same time keeping yourself happy.

12. You do not have to do everything your family, friends, and others ask. Of course you can help others, but first make sure you have done what is necessary to take care of yourself.

Make time for yourself, your number one priority; once your own needs are met you will find you have more time for others. And you may find more pleasure in helping others when you don’t feel that you must always put others needs before your own.

Here are some stress management tips we dug up to help you cope with those difficult days and moments.

1.Don’t just sit there. Move! According to many psychologists, motion creates emotion. You might notice that when you are idle, it’s easier to become depressed. Your heart rate slows down, less oxygen travels to your brain, and you are slumped somewhere in a chair blocking air from reaching your lungs.

I challenge you right now, regardless of how you are feeling, to get up and walk around at a fast tempo. Maybe you might want to go to an empty room and jump up and down a little bit. It may sound silly but the results speak for themselves. Try it now for a few minutes. It works like magic.

Exercise can be a great stress buster. People with anxiety disorders might worry that aerobic exercise could bring on a panic attack. After all, when you exercise, your heart rate goes up, you begin to sweat, and your breathing becomes heavier.
Don’t panic – it’s not an attack! Tell yourself this over and over while you’re exercising. Realize that there’s a big difference between the physical side of exercise and what happens when you exercise.

2.Smell the roses. How do you smell the roses? How about investing some money to go on that one trip you’ve been dreaming about? Visit a country with lots of exotic places to jolt your imagination and spur your creativity. You need to detach from your daily activities and venture a little bit.

3.Help others cope with their problems. It is very therapeutic when you engross yourself in helping others. You will be surprised how many people’s problems are worse than those you may be facing. You can offer others assistance in countless ways. Don’t curl up in your bed and let depression and stress take hold of you.

Get out and help somebody. But be careful. Don’t get caught up in other people’s problems in an attempt to forget about your own.

I am constantly being called by friends and family when they want to vent or get advice. I joke and tell them “Don’t call the ‘crazy’ person for advice!” But there are times that I find myself worrying about the ones who call me and I get caught up in what they’re going through. This just gives me more stress than I already have and I find that I have to step away and re-assess myself and my priorities.

I’m now to the point where I can tell them that I just can’t deal with it right now and to call back later. Sometimes, they get upset, but more often than not, they understand. But I’ve learned not to get too upset about their reactions. If it won’t matter in a week, it should matter right now.

4.Laugh a little. By now you’ve heard that laughter is a good internal medicine. It relieves tension and loosens the muscles. It causes blood to flow to the heart and brain. More importantly, laughter releases a chemical that rids the body of pains.

Every day, researchers discover new benefits of laughter. Let me ask you this question: “Can you use a good dose of belly-shaking laughter every now and then?” Of course you can. What you are waiting for? Go a comedy club or rent some funny movies.

5.Wear your knees out. If there were one sustainable remedy I could offer you when the going gets tough, it would be prayer. Many people, depending on their faith, might call it meditation. It doesn’t matter to me what you call it, as long as you have a place to run to.

As we’ve said before, stress is a part of life. There’s no getting away from it. In fact, some stress is good stress. You may not believe that, but sometimes stress can motivate us to do things we may not normally do in a relaxed state. Stress can make us brave enough to go forward when normally we might hesitate.

We have to be resilient in order to effectively cope with stress and help it enhance our life instead of control it. How do you get strong and resilient? By learning how to take control of your stress and make it work FOR you instead of AGAINST you.

Recognizing stress symptoms can be a positive influence in that we’re compelled to take action – and the sooner the better. It’s not always easy to discern why you have the stress in each situation but some of the more common events that trigger those emotions are the death of a loved one, the birth of a child, a job promotion, or a new relationship. We experience stress as we readjust our lives. Your body is asking for your help when you feel these stress symptoms.

We’re going to give you many suggestions on this site. Not all of them will work for you, but we’re willing to bet that some of them will.

There are three major approaches to manage stress. The first is the action-oriented approach. In this method, the problems that cause stress are identified and necessary changes are made for a stress free life.

The next approach is emotionally oriented and in it, the person overcomes stress by giving a different color to the experience that caused stress. The situation, which causes stress, is seen humorously or from a different angle.

I especially advocate this approach to stress management. Sometimes if you don’t laugh at a situation, you’ll cry – uncontrollably. That’s no solution. So learn to see the humor instead of the doom.

The third way is acceptance-oriented approach. This approach focuses on surviving the stress caused due to some problem in the past.

The first stress management tip is to understand the root cause of your stress. No one understands your problem better than you do. A few minutes spend to recognize your true feelings can completely change the situation.

During this process, identify what triggered the stress. If someone close to your heart is nearby share it with the person. If you are overstressed and feel you are going to collapse, take a deep breath and count till ten. This pumps extra oxygen into your system and rejuvenates the entire body.

When under severe stress meditate for a moment and pull out of the current situation for a little while. Stand up from your current position and walk. Stretch yourself. Soon you will find that the stress has lessened.

This is because you have relaxed now and relaxation is the best medicine for stress. Smiling is yet another way of stress management. If you are at the work place, just stand up and smile at your colleague in the far corner. You will see a change in your mood. Learn some simple yoga or mediation techniques.

You can also invent your own stress management tips. The basic idea is to identify the cause of stress and to pull out from it for a moment and then deal with it. Taking a short walk and looking at objects in nature is another stress reliever. Drinking a glass of water or playing small games are simple stress management techniques. The whole idea is change the focus of attention and when you return to the problem, it does not look as monstrous as you felt before.

Yoga and Meditation

Yoga is an ancient Eastern art that uses body poses and contortions to give inner peace. Meditation is also practiced in Yoga. You should keep in mind that you do not have to contort your body into impossible positions in order to achieve the benefits of Yoga. You also do not have to chant in order to meditate. Both of these ancient philosophies rely on cleansing the body and the spirit through self discipline.

You can easily learn yoga by renting a video or DVD or even reading a book. Yoga classes are available just about anywhere, even at your local park department. Meditation can be practiced anywhere. You just need about five minutes of peace and quiet and a chance to clear your mind. Think of happy, peaceful thoughts and then rid your body of negative energy. Meditation is, in itself, an art form but one that can really work to help you over tough times in your life. Yoga and Meditation are both used as methods of treating anxiety and depression as well as other ailments.

Eat A Healthy Diet

Many in the medical community believe that people who suffer from depression and anxiety have a deficiency in vitamins. You should not only eat a healthy diet that is rich in B vitamins (such as dark colored vegetables and fruits) but also Omega Fatty Acid which is found in fish. You should also take a multivitamin to make sure that you are getting all of the nutrients that you need. You may notice a change in your moods right away if you take a multi vitamin. Make sure that the vitamin that you take contains Omega 3 Fatty Acids.

Eating a healthy diet is good for anyone. Staying away from simple carbohydrates will not only benefit you mentally, but physically as well. This is not to say that you cannot have ice cream or sweets once in a while. Actually, dark chocolate is beneficial to your health and can be a mood enhancer all unto itself. But you should limit your portions of these foods and make sure that you get a healthy allotment of the foods that are beneficial to your health. Your new healthy diet will not only benefit you mentally, but physically as well.

Drink Water

Skip the soda and alcohol and drink plenty of water. You should also limit your caffeine intake. Have your morning coffee or tea, but switch to water during the day. Drinking water will not only help you maintain a healthy weight, but it will also boost your metabolism. Water is a natural energizer. While some say drinking eight glasses of water a day for health is a myth, most doctors will agree that water is very beneficial to your health.

Drinking water will also flush out your system and keep your immune system working properly. You will notice that you will fight off colds easier by drinking more water. Instead of sweet drinks, which are really only liquid candy and offer no nutritional value whatsoever, drink water.

Limit Alcohol and Don’t Smoke

Although some people who are anxious say that they smoke to calm their nerves, smoking actually increases your blood pressure and constricts your blood vessels. Smoking will make you wired, just like caffeine, so it hardly calms you down. In fact, you might find yourself significantly more relaxed after you have kicked the habit.

Alcohol is okay in a social setting and a glass of red wine can be very beneficial to your health. Like anything else, alcohol is fine in moderation. But if you are using alcohol to cure your anxiety, you are making a big mistake. While taking a stiff drink when you have a certain problem will not make you an alcoholic or even really harm you, if you learn this behavior and take a stiff drink every time something goes wrong in your life, you are headed for trouble. Alcohol should be used only socially and never as a medication.

Socialize

Human beings are social animals. We all need human contact. It is probably no coincidence that the number of people with anxiety and depression has risen so steadily as we have become more insular. Now, with the internet, many people are working from home and not interacting with other human beings at all. While the idea of going to work in your living room in your pajamas is pleasing, it can also be depressing if you never get a chance to meet or talk to other people.

There are plenty of groups and clubs that you can join that will give you a chance to interact with other people. Find something that you like to do and join a club. Go to your local library and join a book club. Take a look at classes at your local community college or park department. Do not rely on the internet as your sole source of socialization. We all need human interaction to avoid becoming depressed.

Get Creative!

Depression does tend to plague creative people more than others. Do something creative to stave off depression. Whether it is writing, painting, singing or even dancing, use your talents and enjoy your creativity. Even if you use your time to decorate your house, you can not only have some fun doing something that you enjoy, but also keep depression and anxiety at bay.

Get Busy

If you do not know what to do, clean something. Pick a closet in your home and clean it out. This will help you deal with your anxiety and also get something done at the same time. Being active is the best way to treat anxiety and depression. You have to force yourself to do this, but once you start, you will notice a difference. Chances are that you will start concentrating less on your anxiety and depression and more on the closet or bathroom that you are cleaning. And when you are finished, you will feel good about yourself.

Depression has its roots in low self esteem. In order to build up your self esteem, try the tips outlined in this chapter. You can also use affirmations on a daily basis. Try to banish negative thoughts from your mind and keep looking at everything in a positive light. This will help you treat depression and anxiety.

All of the ideas in this chapter are safe to do even if you are using medication. You should consult with your doctor before starting a strenuous exercise program, however. These ideas are all tried and true ways that you can treat your own depression. If you get into the habit of using all of them, chances are that you may be able to treat your depression and anxiety without drugs.

This is in no way to insinuate that someone who is suffering from severe anxiety or depression can be cured by taking a herbal supplement or performing exercises or yoga. This book cannot state enough that serious depression is a disease, a serious disease that can prove fatal. A person should not treat themselves for severe depression any more than they should try to remove their own gallbladder.

That being said, in the same respect, every single person who feels a little down should not have to run to the doctor and get tranquilizers and anti depressants. There are certain things that people can do to stave off both depression and anxiety on their own. Here are some tips on how to deal with depression and anxiety on your own. Even if you are under medication, you can use these methods to help you cope with depression and anxiety.

Routine

Establish a routine of some sort for yourself. Remember that anxiety comes from the fear of the unknown and loss of control and depression has its roots in low self esteem. A routine is a safe harbor in an unsafe world. A routine, even if it is as simple as watching a television show every night, gives you some sense of security in your life. You know that no matter how bad things get, you will still have that routine in which to rely upon.

A woman named Sarah tells a funny story about when she gave birth to her first child. Every night, she watched a specific program on television that gave her a sense of security. She was anxious about the impending birth of her first child as any new mother usually is. She was also excited about the birth as she and her husband got the nursery ready for the new baby.

Each night, she watched her favorite program on television and it gave her a sense of routine. No matter how nervous she was about the birth, she knew that she had something to look forward to each night that gave her a sense of security. In short, she had a routine.

When her baby was born, things were naturally chaotic. Her baby was a healthy little boy and Sarah was over the moon about him. But it was scary taking care of him. She was now a mother who was responsible for a life. She was happy to be a mother and loved her baby, but was very anxious.

She stopped watching her favorite program because things seemed so turned around in the house. A week after the birth, she managed to put the television on and there it was - her favorite show. And she sat down and watched.

Sarah soon began to again look forward to this program. She experienced an upheaval in her life and relied on routine to get her through this anxious time. The best part of this story is that Sarah realized how important some sort of routine can be to the mental state and also passed this on to her son and then later, her daughter. Today, Sarah’s children are grown and mentally healthy. Sarah, by the way, no longer watches that particular program. She does, however, continue to rely on routine as a way to alleviate anxiety.

Exercise

Any doctor worth his or her salt will tell you to exercise if you have depression or anxiety. Again, this can be used in conjunction with medication, if medication is needed. Exercise not only helps you physically, but also mentally. Exercise naturally raises your serotonin levels and gives you an energy boost as well. When you are depressed, however, the toughest thing to do is to exercise. It will work to help with your depression if you can just get into the habit.

Even if you just manage to take a walk or do some stretches, get yourself in to an exercise routine. This is valuable information for anyone, but particularly anyone who wants to alleviate depression. This is not to say that you cannot still take medication, but exercise can work well with the medication.

Exercise not only helps with depression, but anxiety as well. Performing exercise puts you in control of your environment, which can alleviate anxiety. Remember that lack of control makes us feel anxious so you can gain some control in your life in a positive manner if you exercise.

Some people with anxiety and depression find themselves becoming addicted to exercise. You will find them at the gym all of the time and they usually appear to be in excellent physical shape. Although addiction in any form is bad, even to something as positive as exercise, spending all of your time in the gym is better than spending it at a bar. You just want to make sure that you do not neglect other duties in your quest to stay fit.

Exercise is good for you physically and mentally. It will raise your energy level, boost your metabolism and even your immune system. On top of that, it will help you get into good physical shape. Most people who are depressed care very little about their physical appearance. Exercise helps them get into shape and gives them something to strive for, especially if they need to lose weight.

This is the cure all for a lot of different ailments, including anxiety and depression. If you are experiencing anxiety or depression on a small scale, start jogging or exercising before you reach for pills. You will be pleasantly surprised at the amazing effects.